我是個剛滿 26 歲、來自台灣的女孩。我希望能聽聽妳的意見。
是這樣的：我在高中時曾經去倫敦當交換學生，也在那時告訴自己，我想去國外念書。很幸運地，我在菲律賓念大學，又在澳洲拿到碩士；畢業之後，我成為銷售業務，在東南亞各國工作。我在 24 歲時回到台灣，找到了一份安穩、但也不是特別有趣的工作。
我一直想回去英國，卻也因為簽證問題難以成行。最近，我拿到了英國的兩年期打工渡假簽證，更幸運的是，我找到了一份記者工作，年收入為 xxxxx 英鎊。只要我的表現夠好，兩年之後，公司就會幫我申請英國居留證。
然而，我媽已經快要 60 歲了，我選擇回台工作，就是想多花一點時間陪伴家人。此外，如果去了英國，我的收入也只會比留在台灣時多一點點。我非常困惑……我該放棄一切、回去英國嗎？但如果工作表現不夠好，等我回到台灣之時，我就是個 28 歲、而且一無所有的人……
舉例來說，我在 8 個月前選擇創業，也就表示我得放棄原來打算用來在柏林買房子的存款，好維持我的生活。我選擇放棄社交生活，例如與朋友玩樂、約會等。那代表我在短時間內不會有交往對象，而且我已經快 30 歲了……認識我的人都知道我非常喜歡小孩……更糟的是，我是個非常享受生活的人，我喜歡旅行、運動、紅酒、閱讀、烹飪、美食、跳舞、音樂，也總是有些我想學習的新事物。為了追尋創業這個夢想，我等於放棄了這一切。我幾乎不參加任何活動，就算有，也一定只是為了社交，絕對不是約會。沒有新衣服、沒有旅行、不能去餐廳吃飯。我在家煮飯，卻連好一點的食材都買不起，更別提那些我以前能享受的「奢侈事物」了。
再舉個例子：我在 2014 年回到台灣、接受新的挑戰，而且那比我在歐洲的工作有趣得多。雖然我對工作相當滿意，也學了很多，但我還是不快樂。為什麼？我以為工作／職涯永遠排在第一，但事實是，我回台灣工作之後根本沒有人生。我很高興能和家人相處、補回那些我們失去的時間，但在內心深處，我真的很不快樂。許多我以前可以盡情做的事，現在全都不能做了。我還在柏林當實習生的時候，既沒有錢，也不知道職涯接下來會往哪裡走，但妳知道嗎？那時的我非常快樂。
有時，我對自己的人生也會有些誤判。什麼事對我來說最重要？什麼事其實不那麼重要？現在，我會排出它們的優先次序，然後決定我要做什麼、要放棄什麼。這很難，但妳就是不可能擁有一切。從妳的 E-mail 來看，重要的事情有下列幾件：家人、金錢、夢想、年紀、安全感、職涯。女孩，哪件事對妳來說最重要？
【以下為作者 Irene Yu 撰寫之原文】
〈Dream vs. Reality? Should you pursue your dream or give up on it because of reality?〉
Hint: I have written in Chinese websites as columnist for 3 years, I sometimes receive some emails from readers. Today I would like to share this story and my reply here.
I am a girl who recently turned 26. I am from Taiwan, I would like to hear some suggestion from you.
Here it is: I was an exchange student in London while I studied high school, I told myself I definitely want to study abroad afterwards. I was lucky to study college in Philippines and master in Australia, after graduation I started to work as sales and relocated among South East Asia countries. I came back Taiwan when I was 24, got a job which is secure enough but nothing special exciting.
I always wanted to come back to the UK, but could not make it due to the visa problem, recently, I received the UK working holiday visa for 2 years, even more fortunate, I found a journalist job which will pay me xxxxx Pounds per year. If I do well, company will help me to apply for residency in the UK after 2 years.
However, my mom is almost 60, I chose a job back to Taiwan, because I wanted to spend more time with my family. Furthermore, in the UK, I will only make a bit more than what I earn in Taiwan. I am extremely confused…Should I give up everything just to go back to the UK but if the job does not go well, when I come back to Taiwan, I will be 28 with nothing…
I am happy to receive your email.
First of all, congratulation, it is not so easy to get visa as well as job opportunity in the UK. (You know how tough their foreign policy has became.)
Life always comes with numerous difficulties and surprises at the same time. However, what I have learned is that, it is always about priority. You have to weigh what is the most important thing for you at that stage.
To have an illustration, I chose to be an entrepreneur 8 months ago, which means I chose to give up the money I saved to buy a flat here in Berlin and use it as my cost of living. I chose to give up social life, such as, hanging out with friends or going on dates. It indicates that I will have no relationship soon and also I am pushing 30 years old… People who knows me they know how much I love kids…Even worse, I am the person who enjoys life a lot, traveling, sport, wine, reading, cooking, dining, dancing, music…even some other new things I always want to learn. I literally gave up everything, because I wanna pursue my dream to be entrepreneur. I barely went out, if I went out, that was only for networking, certainly, no date at all. No new clothes, no traveling, no dining in the restaurant, I could not even afford to buy quality good to cook at home, not even mention other ‘’luxury things’’ I used to do.
To have another example: in 2014, I went back to Taiwan to take a new challenge, that was much more interested than the job I had in Europe. Although I was satisfied with my job, I learned a lot, yet I was still not happy. Why? I thought work/career always come first, but the truth is I had no life once I went back to Taiwan. I was glad I had more time to catch up with the time I lost before with my family, but deeply I was really unhappy. There were so many things that I had done a lot, but I could not do anymore. Back in the time I was intern in Berlin, I had no money and did not know where I would have my career, but you know what I was happy.
I realize that ‘’life always comes first’’ in my case most of the time.
I am not regretful at all about the decision I made to go back to Taiwan, because the job I took in Taiwan, led me to another new page of my life later on, also my niece had no idea who I was when she was born but after being in Taiwan for several months, she is the most lovely little one for me.
I might evaluate mistakenly sometimes about my life. What is the most significant for me and what is not that important ? I prioritize them and decide what to do and what to give up. It is hard but you just cannot have them all. As far as I read from your email: there are only 7 things: family, money, dream, age, security, career, so Girl, which is the most important for you?
I hope this email helps and let me know if you have any further questions? :)